I used to believe I earned an “F” in friendships
Because I don’t hold onto them my whole life
Like my brothers do.
They have guy friends they’ve known since high school
And the pack gets together every year.

So I would steel myself when I sensed a friendship ending
Because it felt like a failing grade was imminent
I don’t need them; I can do without them.
As if I were a tree chopping off my limbs one after another
Until only my trunk remained.

But today, a different image came to mind.

What if I’m the foundation of my home
—strong, dependable, intact, solid, constant –
And my friends are the decorations
That enhance my life
and spark joy

And when they don’t, or our paths diverge
Decorations can be repaired if broken,
Replaced … or discarded.
Or put away for a time though loved from afar
–like Christmas

Change is good.
Just as I didn’t want to inherit my mother’s furniture from 1963
It’s not how I live
It’s not who I am
today.

Or, maybe I’m more like a river
Ever-flowing forward
Gathering tree bark and rocks
and fish and creatures
and multi-colored leaves to love.

Some journey with me for many miles
Others swirl alongside
And quickly deposit themselves on the shore
As I gently kiss them goodbye
Perhaps they will rejoin me later.

Friends come and go
Friendships ebb and flow
Relationships have natural tides
If I stayed back with the pebbles and the voles where we first met
I’d end up a stagnant pool.

So I am urged forward
Sad to bid farewell but remembering new adventures await.
The passage is mine alone
In my journey to the sea
and God.